Broken Reality
by PyroTheWereCat
Summary: I have shattered the fourth wall and destroyed the laws of fan fiction writing  altogether...as a birthday present. Chainshipping ponies.


_A/N: This is my birthday gift to AkaneDelite. Please read her stuff!_

_"I wouldn't lie to you."_

_"The key to that chain is in the bathtub."_

_"NO!"_

_"GAME OVER."_

_"NOOOO! DON'T! DON'T!"_

Adam Faulkner, a young pegasus, started awake in a hospital bed, his grey coat shiny with sweat and a terrible pain in his right wing causing him to grunt and cringe to one side. _What happened?_ he thought, but only for a moment as the memories flooded back with the fading of sleep. He had been kidnapped by a psychotic pony called Jigsaw and forced to participate in one of his sick, murderous games alongside a medical-pony named Lawrence.

_Lawrence!_

Adam pressed a hoof to his forehead in the sudden headache brought with the thought of his friend, the gentle blue unicorn who had saved his life. Where was he now? Was he still alive? Not many ponies could survive losing a hoof like that. The pain in Adam's wing forced him out of his thoughts and into the real world for a moment. He craned his neck to get a look at the throbbing appendage and a dull feeling of doom began to fill his stomach. The wing was still attached but it was heavily bound in gauze bandages that seeped through with blood. It hurt far too much to move so Adam gave up on trying. Instead he lay there, wondering how in Equestria had he ended up like this.

.

After several agonizing hours of questioning and pondering and hurting, a medical-pony finally came by to check on the wounded pegasus.

"Oh good, you're awake!" she said, "How are you feeling?" Adam didn't respond, choosing instead to glare at her, size her up. She was a young, dark grey-blue mare with a short brown mane, almost as short as his own black one. She was wearing a white coat so Adam couldn't tell if she was an earth pony or a pegasus, and her cutie mark was hidden. She had large blue eyes that seemed to burn into him, forcing him to speak.

"Like shit," he said, his voice hoarse and grating. The mare smiled, an oddly devilish look in her eyes.

"I imagine pain killers won't do anything for you, right?" Adam shook his head, trying to avoid that weird stare of hers.

"No, not really."

"Would you prefer a visit from a friend?" Adam returned his gaze to the mare, startled and confused.

"What do you mean?" She grinned at him, exposing sharper than normal teeth and called (without looking away from Adam),

"Oh, Dr. Delite~! Our little stallion wants some company." At this, a pink pegasus mare fluttered in, also grinning and peering at Adam with dark eyes over black-framed glasses.

"Has he requested by name, Dr. Pyro?" she asked. This mare had an unusual accent that Adam could not recognize and confused him all the more.

"Not verbally but I think he knows we know who he wants." It was then Adam noticed the nametag on Dr. Pyro's coat:

Lawrence Gordon

Adam's eyes widened and he jerked violently toward the (rather creepy) mares.

"What do you know about him?" he demanded. Dr. Delite giggled and pushed her long black mane out of her face.

"Only that he's been talking, like, nonstop about you since we brought him here."

"He's here?" Dr. Pyro shrugged off the coat and tossed it onto Adam's face. He shook it off a little too hastily, thus sending another stabbing pain through his injured wing. Dr. Pyro, revealed now as a pegasus as well, spread her wings and took to the air, flying out the door and around the corner. Adam was left with the strange (and possibly insane) Dr. Delite, who hovered near him smiling like a crazed stalker.

"You really are tiny, aren't you?" she said, just as he was about to speak. Adam flushed, annoyed.

"I am not!" he snapped, "I'm taller than you, anyway." A moment later Dr. Pyro returned, spiraling in like some kind of Wonderbolt wannabe.

"The guest of honor hath arrived," she said, her eyes wide and deranged. Before Adam could question any more of this strangeness he heard an uneven clopping of hooves outside the door. He gasped as a long, powder blue horn appeared, knowing exacting who this unicorn was before his face appeared, tired and careworn.

"Lawrence!" The blond stallion smiled weakly as he hobbled into the room, his right hind leg bound in gauze and ending shorter than the other three.

"Adam," he said softly, "I knew you'd be alive." The two stared at each other for quite a few moments before the mysterious mares cleared their throats.

"Oh right," Lawrence said, "These two showed up when I woke up here a few days ago, yelling at me to get up and go after you. And don't ask how they know anything about us," he added just as Adam was about to, "It's better that you don't know." The hollow look of terror on Lawrence's face told Adam that this was the absolute truth and that they should never speak of it again.

"Soooooo," Dr. Delite said, flying over to the other side of Adam's bed.

"You guys gonna do it or what?" finished Dr. Pyro, now floating upside down with her hooves crossed.

"Do what?" Adam asked. Lawrence blushed purple in that adorable way only light blue ponies can.

"They want us to kiss." It was Adam's turn to blush, a dark red under the grey.

"Why?" Lawrence limped over to the edge of the bed and leaned in close.

"Don't ask," he whispered, "They're crazy and I think they'll kill us if we don't offer fanservice." Dr. Pyro laughed, a frightening, shrill giggle that made both stallions jump in fear.

"Why would we kill you?" she said, hilarity in her voice, "We're not weirdos who live on the internet 24/7, GAWSH."

"Just 20/7," Dr. Delite added, "We only need four hours of sleep, right?" The mares high-hoofed in midair before returning their anxious stares to the stallions beneath them. Lawrence sighed.

"Well, better get used to this. Since they wrote out my family for the sequels we're going to have to live together." Adam was speechless. What was going on? Who wrote out Lawrence's family for what sequels? And what did that even mean? His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden kiss from Lawrence. Adam's mind went blank at the soft pressure of the other stallion's lips against his own. It seemed like forever but all too short at the same time when Lawrence finally pulled away and the almost forgotten pegasi squealed in excitement, lowering mysteriously acquired cameras.

"Do you think they'll go away?" Adam muttered under his breath.

"I don't know," Lawrence replied, "But if and until they do...what do you think about a bedroom alternate to physical therapy?"

And so Adam Faulkner knew from that day on that nothing would ever be normal in his story again.

THE END

_A/N: And there we have it. Sorry if it isn't on par with my more serious writing. My creativity has been sapped by new job and college overload. But anyway, happy birthday to AkaneDelite, who has also been placed into this story with me as Dr. Delite. Her cutie mark is a blood splatter and mine is the Wiccan Triple Goddess symbol. We are epic pegasi! :B_


End file.
